These are the opinions of five young men and do not necessarily reflect the general ideology of all Jamaican men.
1. They love their male friends and their companionship. It is important to them to spend time with their male friends. They bond more with their brethren since they understand each other and can empathize with their experiences and situations than their spouses. They also feel more comfortable sharing “certain” information with their male friends.
2. If you are the wife, you should not be concerned with the assorted women he sleeps with on the side since you are the one that he comes home to every night. Women should turn a blind eye to their liaisons and infidelities if you are his main chick. You should not question his loyalty to you if you are living with him and your needs are being met.
3. Do not answer his phone or search his phone. Men hate when women invade their private space and they do not want to answer to their indiscretions. They do not want to put the woman in a position for her to witness messages in his phone that may hurt her. You lose your right to question him about anything dis-satisfactory you found in his phone since you are by law not suppose to search phone. “Anything you get, you must take, you went looking for something and you got what you were searching for”
4.Men want to have fun! Do not think that when your Jamaican man starts having sex with you, its a license for you to go ahead and get pregnant and tie him down. Your Jamaican man wants to enjoy you and he wants to have fun with you before you decide to get big and bloated. The onus is on you to protect yourself and maintain the “Fun” in the relationship. Why would you want to complicate a situation with a man you met a month ago by getting pregnant and then by your second trimester, you realize you are not getting what you want out of the relationship.
5. Babies cant hold man. Do not think that you can trap a Jamaican man into a long term relationship by getting pregnant. You will end up with the wrong end of the stick. Most men (in reality) will withdraw their affection than indulge a woman when he discovers that she is pregnant after he has hinted that he doesn’t want a child or the relationship is still in its embryonic stage. Additionally men do not think that having babies is synonymous with ambition and progress. An ambitious, progressive woman is less inclined to get pregnant in Jamaica’s brittle adverse financial climate.
6. Good Sex will keep any man around but a wholesome woman will get a man to marry her. Men are no longer “looking inna face” when it comes to relationships. They want a partner that can bring some money to the table. One hand cannot clap! They don’t need a parasitic partner but a symbiosis in their relationship. They want a partner who is leading her separate independent financial life and is not entirely dependent on him for subsistence. They claim that men want women in “9 to 5″ Jobs since “times are hard”.
7. Men don’t want women who act like men. According to these young men, they want a woman who is female in the traditional sense of the word. She doesn’t question his whereabouts when he doesn’t come home! She does not call his phone and demand to know where he is! She does not see him with other women and make a scene instead she turns a blind eye! He doesn’t want a drama queen or a woman that is assertive and opinionated. He prefers docility and invisibility! A Woman who “keeps in” and takes care of his home while he traipsing across the island, having the time of his life.
8. Do not insult him in front of his friends or in public. You can even pretend to support his stance in front of his friends but do not damage his social image or reduce his peers’ respect for him by constantly asserting your opinions and emasculating him. This is the reason why he may be forced to insult and humiliate you so that he can retrieve his masculinity and peer validation. It is best to acquiesce and make him look good in front of friends. So do not become argumentative with him during a debate, if you are not on his side, “it better you no say nothing”
9. Do not treat your man like a child even if he is being juvenile. Do not see him with his friends and beckon him to come to your in a maternal voice like his mother. Men do not like to be made to feel like boys in public. They like to appear as if they are in control of their relationship, even if they are not. Stroke his ego and tell him how much of a big man he is and you will have a relationship devoid of conflicts and quarrels. Do not approach your man at a public event and raise your hand calling him like a little boy from a few feet afar, while others look on. Some men will simply ignore you and instead of embarrassing him, you end up humiliating yourself.
10. He prefers to go to the club with his friends than with you. It is not as fun when you are there because they have to be censoring their arguments and frolicking since they do not want to compromise your relationship. Clubbing is their time to unwind and have fun. It does not mean (according to them) it is an opportunity to cheat or find a prospective cheating partner. They are not hunting in packs but simply unwinding with friends while gawking, ogling and wining on women who are not their partners. They claim that they are just partying and that it doesn’t mean anything and women should not be tight strung about men going clubbing with their male friends.
What do you think?